I can't even imagine

***disclaimer***

This post is going to draw on a very raw subject. If you want to stop reading now, I will not judge you. I'm just handing out the warnings now.

I have thought about doing a post of this nature for quite some time now.

I came upon a blog through another blogger friend of mine. It's written by a mother (the father sometimes makes guest appearances) who has three little girls, and was pregnant again. Early on in the pregnancy, they learned that there was something wrong with the baby and there was virtually no chance of survival. It's a heartbreaking story because these people are true believers in god and are left wondering why their baby girl was taken from them. The story of the baby girl's journey is beautifully recounted by the mother on the website. And just recently, she posted a video containing pictures and video clips from the day the baby girl was born - the family surrounding the bed, the three little girls (now all big sisters) on the bed with the mother, wanting to touch and play with the baby girl. They knew time was not on their side. No one knew how long the baby would live after birth. They ended up with a couple hours before the baby finally stopped fighting. But watching this video, as a mother, I see the mother smiling and I wonder how she can do it. I cannot think of a greater pain in this world than to hold your child and know you are going to have to bury it. No parent should have to do that. I cry every time I visit their blog because I'm a mother and I know the depths of my love for my child. I cannot imagine anything happening to him. But knowing this woman's story (and so many other parents out there who have gone through this exact same thing), I just want to wrap my child in a bubble and keep him in my arms forever. My husband has personally gone through burying a child and I can't even imagine the strength he had to do that.

My heart really goes out to this lady because I don't know how I would be able to make that choice upon learning the baby has a condition that would prevent it from surviving upon birth. I hope I never have to make that choice. And I hope that no one I know has to make that choice either because I don't think there is a greater torture on this earth.

Here is a link to the blog - I invite you to check it out, though you certainly don't have to. I simply share this story with you because it has moved me more than I thought it would. Possibly because I am married to someone who has gone through the same thing.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/