Changing Times

As a fiercely independent person, I embrace this quote. So many people fear being alone. I welcome it, in moderation. In this time of great change, I need alone time to reflect on the person I need to be, for myself and for my kids. The future is scary, but I CAN do this.

Last night was the first night of the new custody schedule. After watching the Superbowl at my parents' house, I went home. My own house was empty. My kids were with their father at his new house. I knew they would be fine. I knew they were making forts to have a "camp out" with their sleeping bags, pillows, and stuffed animals. Apparently they had been playing on the stairs all night...which of course made me nervous for Kendall. What if she woke up in the middle of the night and started wandering around and fell down the stairs? I bet I thought of this a thousand times throughout the night. I know she will get used to the house and this won't be an issue, but my mind still goes there.

At the end of the day, this decision was so easy, yet so hard. Obviously it needed to be done and we needed to remove the negativity from our life.  My children were my primary focus, and I am determined to make this a positive change for them. Sure, their lives will be different than what we had planned so long ago. But different doesn't always have to mean "bad". And they will have everything in life they would have had, and that's all that matters. Sure, it will be a little different, but that's okay. Truly, it is. We will all roll with the punches, like we always have. The game plan may have changed a little bit, but the focus and determination to provide a great life for our kids will never change.

On a personal level, I plan to embrace this. There are many things I know I need to change about myself, within myself. This is that time. There are many things that scare me, but fear has never stopped me. I always welcome challenge, and here it is, staring me in the face. Challenge accepted.