Thursday, June 23, 2011

Today Sucks

When Carter was born, I had the luxury of having extended maternity leave.  I wasn't working, and really wasn't in a hurry to find a job.  I wanted lots of time home with my new baby.  And two months after he was born, I decided it was time to get back into the working life.  Two months seemed like a good amount of time.....and I acknowledge the fact that I'm not good as a stay-at-home mom.  At least not full time.  I LOVE spending time with my family, but I need more than that.  I need something outside of my home.  So I found a job and that first day at work, which was Carter's first day at daycare, SUCKED.  I hated the fact that he wasn't with me.  But time went on and he thrived with the kids at daycare.

Well today is Kendall's turn.  She's just over 2 months old, so she's experiencing this at the same age her brother did.  And with the same people who watch Carter.  I trust them with Carter, meaning I'm going to have to trust them with her, too.  But damn this day still sucks.  She's not with me.  She's not with Eric.  She's not with anyone in her family.  I have no clue how she will do with these people...or how they will do with her.  I'm glad Carter is there to watch out for his little sister...and maybe he can be my little spy and tell me how things go every day.

But in the meantime, it still sucks.  I won't know when she cries.  I won't know when she looks around to find me and is confused that I'm not there.  I won't know if they stop to hug her and cuddle her if she's fussy. Damn.

Today will be a long day, that's for sure.  And the only thing that makes me feel better is that we have completely adjusted our work schedules so that the kids are only at daycare two days a week.  I can tolerate that.....I can also tolerate my three-day weekends every week.  ;)

4 comments:

♥Jacqueline said...

Have you shortened your work week? I'm sorry you feel that way :( But as the saying goes, this too shall pass. Everything will work out :)

Jenn said...

Yes, I now work four 10 hour days. So I have a three day weekend every week.

♥Jacqueline said...

That's cool! I loved 10 hour shifts when I used to work. What a great way to spend the summer! :)

CreativeMish said...

You're fortunate you had that many weeks with them... Too bad it couldn't be longer. Back in the day... when I had kids. No FMLA.. I took 2-3 weeks off.. that was the norm unless you could afford longer and an employer allowed more. Some countries allow over a year with government aid. but of course those countries have ridiculous taxes, too.