The Quiet Before the Storm

Life is about to get super busy - wedding season is kicking off, starting this weekend, along with several travel weekends (both for fun and for work). My new job started this week and has been really great thus far. I truly couldn't ask for a better place! In the meantime, I've been enjoying the quiet because I know it is short-lived.

Changing Times

As a fiercely independent person, I embrace this quote. So many people fear being alone. I welcome it, in moderation. In this time of great change, I need alone time to reflect on the person I need to be, for myself and for my kids. The future is scary, but I CAN do this.

Last night was the first night of the new custody schedule. After watching the Superbowl at my parents' house, I went home. My own house was empty. My kids were with their father at his new house. I knew they would be fine. I knew they were making forts to have a "camp out" with their sleeping bags, pillows, and stuffed animals. Apparently they had been playing on the stairs all night...which of course made me nervous for Kendall. What if she woke up in the middle of the night and started wandering around and fell down the stairs? I bet I thought of this a thousand times throughout the night. I know she will get used to the house and this won't be an issue, but my mind still goes there.

At the end of the day, this decision was so easy, yet so hard. Obviously it needed to be done and we needed to remove the negativity from our life.  My children were my primary focus, and I am determined to make this a positive change for them. Sure, their lives will be different than what we had planned so long ago. But different doesn't always have to mean "bad". And they will have everything in life they would have had, and that's all that matters. Sure, it will be a little different, but that's okay. Truly, it is. We will all roll with the punches, like we always have. The game plan may have changed a little bit, but the focus and determination to provide a great life for our kids will never change.

On a personal level, I plan to embrace this. There are many things I know I need to change about myself, within myself. This is that time. There are many things that scare me, but fear has never stopped me. I always welcome challenge, and here it is, staring me in the face. Challenge accepted.

Let's do an update, shall we?

One of my goals this year is to get back to regular blogging. As in, more than just photography shoots and vacations. I'm backing off on the wedding photography this year (even though that brings in the biggest chunk of photography income) to focus more on newborn photography.......and trips with my family. We didn't camp one time last year - that will definitely be changing this year. We already have trips to Disneyland (for Carter) and San Francisco (for Eric and me, to visit my best friend and take in more baseball) planned for this year. In between those trips, we plan to get back to camping. It's something I really enjoy and I have really missed it.

Anyway, back to blogging.

Speaking of photography, I am in the middle of developing a new website with the help of one of my friends. She understands all that HTML talk that I would just like to ignore. Hopefully within a month, the new site will be up and running and I can share it with you then!

Life has been hectic lately. Does it ever slow down? Do you ever feel "caught up"? Is there such a thing?

We finally took Kendall in to the doctor and since she has been on ammox for her tiny ear infection, she has transformed back to my happy baby. It's sooooo nice to have her back! I can't believe she's going to be TWO in just a few months. :/  We also moved the crib down to a toddler bed for her. 

For the most part, it has gone really well. Today, at nap time, I kept hearing her toy guitar so I went in and kidnapped her. I wanted a nap anyway, so we snuggled in my bed. At first, every time I would open my eyes, this happened:

 Eventually, this happened:

And we both slept for a couple hours......until the 4-wheelers went speeding down the road with people sledding.

Speaking of sledding, we took the kids out today. We didn't want to drive far, so we ended up at Eagle Elementary School, which has a nice hill around the back side of the building. It was a lot of fun, though Kendall got cold and miserable. Need to find that girl some thicker gloves!

 (Yes, he still has the beard going.....though now he has trimmed it and "shaped" it. Don't ask.)

What else is new?

I go in on Tuesday for my braces consult. 2013 and 2014 will be spent in braces. I'm pretty anxious for the first portion of the treatment, where I have to have four teeth extracted (to make room), but overall, I am extremely excited to have a straight smile soon!

Work is B.U.S.Y.  This last week was INSANE getting caught up on the case and prepping for trial. However, the hard work has paid off as I received a nice raise this week. This firm is just fantastic and I'm so, SO glad I made the decision to move there last year. What a great move!

And it seems like the kids have come to some sort of understanding that testing mommy's patience, at least in a group effort, isn't amusing. So my sanity has returned. For a while, it felt like this:

See you at the next posting!

Time

It’s a dark time.

Cringe

Anger

Patience

A test

 

How long do you wait?

 

How many chances do you give?

 

Patience, again

Disappointment

Failure

 

What if it could be better, apart?

 

What if you’ve done everything you can?

 

Sometimes it just can’t work.

Divided

Different

Too different

Unwilling

Stubborn

 

Disrespect

Unhappy

 

Who do you live for?

Kids

Yourself

Happiness matters

Decisions

 

Effort

Resistance

Stuck

Bitterness

 

Could there be so much more?

Someone else?

 

Alone

Hope

Freedom

Apart