The Braces Adventure - Can We Move This Along, Already?!

I'm not sure if this process could possibly take ANY longer. Holy hell. If you will recall, my records and impressions appointment was three weeks ago.  At the very end of that appointment, the orthodondist told me that he would call me within two weeks to discuss the ultimate treatment plan, based on my x-rays and impressions and pictures. Great. I'm not in any hurry over here. Take your time.  So two weeks go by and I hear nothing. I text my friend, who works there, and say "it has been two weeks, should I be nervous?" She assured me that everything was fine, they had just been putting in a lot of hours and the orthodontist was working on his calls. Cool. So another week goes by and I just can't hold my patience anymore. I called the office and explained that it had been three weeks, can I get a call back? Of course, the orthodontist called me back within an hour. Naturally.

 

He confirmed that I do, in fact, need to proceed with the surgery. I didn't doubt that that would change, and had actually accepted it as my fate. Break my face. Cool.  The timeline leading up to this is so freaking drawn out, I'm going to go nuts. They are booked out until the end of April. So at the end of April, I go in and they place some spacer bands around my teeth, which I get to wear for two wonderful weeks. Including my time in Disneyland. Happiest place on Earth, remember? Once we get back from Disneyland, I go back to the office, they pull out the bands, fit the metal bands that will hold the expander, take another impression, put the original bands back on, and ship the impression off to the lab where they will make the expander. This takes another two weeks. So now we are at the end of May. MAY. The end of May, I go in and have the expander placed and cemented to my teeth. Then I'm free to have the surgery, which they recommend taking place on a Friday.

 

I would like to say that in my adult years, I have gained a healthy amount of patience.  Especially the years since I turned 25 and started having kids. Loads of patience have been gained. Trust me. However, this process of doing braces is threatening to wipe out all that progress I have made. Seriously - let's get moving!

How to Annoy Me

Tell me about a mess, but do nothing to clean it up.

Purely hypothetical, of course.

Husband (bellowing across the house): Wife, the child spilled his juice all over the carpet.

Wife: Ooooookay? Clean it up?

Husband: Did you give him a sippy cup with no lid?

Wife: Yes, that's something I would do - give him a sippy cup with NO lid. Makes perfect sense to me.

At this time, hypothetical wife goes to the site of the spill, at which, the husband is just standing there staring at the mess - hypothetically, of course.

Wife cleans up mess.

Once again - must be nice to be a man.

How to Annoy Me

Deliver POOR customer service.

Because nothing makes me feel better about shopping at your store than to know you could care less about your job.

I was in the mall this afternoon and walked up to the register. The entire stock of store employees ranged from 18-22 year olds. GREAT. Because they are known for focusing. So I had the register dude my item. He is busy with three other dudes, talking about their cell phones, talking about other people's cell phones, etc. I'm sorry to be all selfish, but I AM the customer and I feel I deserve some undivided attention while I am standing at the register. I don't need to snap my fingers and say "ok little boys, can we focus for the next 28 seconds? Because that's really all it will take. And then you can continue on with your conversation about phones and hair dye." (they were quite emo)

I didn't realize giving the customer some quality service was so overrated these days.

How to Annoy Me

Talk to me while I'm on the phone with someone else.

Because the phone being held up to my ear, and my talking, apparently isn't obvious enough to point out: I'M BUSY.

My husband is soooo guilty of this. We can not say two words to each other for 30 minutes leading up to the phone call, but as soon as I get on that phone, he's following me around chatting at me while I'm attempting a conversation with someone else. He feels the need to comment on what I'm saying, respond, as though I'm actually speaking to HIM, and continuously ask who it is I'm talking to.

Drives.me.NUTS.

How to Annoy Me

Call me up to tell me about a typo.

And that's it.

No other substance or reason for the telephone call OTHER than to point out that I made a mistake.

Thank you BUDDY.

My day was just NOT complete without your phone call.

This one's for you:

How to Annoy Me

Find a way to butt into every single one of my cases - when NOT asked.

Because I'm a complete idiot and can't do a damn thing on my own.

How to Annoy Me

DON'T have casual Friday.

Because I don't long to wear jeans or anything.

Really.

Sheesh

How to Annoy Me

IGNORE THIS SIGN.

No really.

Because I just love sitting in the turn lane during RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC, attempting to turn onto my street. To my home. And YOU block the intersection. And it's so much fun to stare at you, avoiding my stare because you know you are a jackass. And I get to sit through another cycle of lights just because you HAD to be bumper to bumper with the car in front of you. We sure accomplished a lot today, didn't we honey?

How To Annoy Me

Don't use your blinker.

Because reading your idiotmind is part of my ever-expanding repertoire.

How to Annoy Me

Be a complete kiss ass.

Because really, it's such FUN to get that nauseated, I'm-going-to-puke-in-my-mouth feeling watching "normal" people transform into people who will do anything to keep their nose right up their boss' behind.

Ugh!

(I shamelessly borrowed this idea from another blog ( http://www.dooce.com/ )
I will be posting many of these. Because many things annoy me. On a daily basis.)